Detective Purvis at your service, that’s right Andrew P. Purvis, for those of you who don’t remember. It was a fine Saturday morning, with an abundant blue sky shining through the bedroom window, when I discovered the secret of the “Suitcase Cats.” In my younger baseball days we called it a “high sky” because it seemed like you could see forever. Needless to say, on this occasion, being on this case would keep me inside. My stern investigation had turned up a massive amount of information as I struggled to put all the pieces into place. Oh, there was plenty of evidence if you knew how to look for it, and most folks knew that Gil Grissom on CSI had nothing on me. That’s why I made the big bucks. It all started so innocently, with little things being moved out of place. Rugs with corners turned up, items on tabletops moved, and straws and nail files with puncture holes; they were all parts of the clues to this case. Were these just stunts to throw me off track? Interestingly, clumps of hair, mostly white, would turn up in unusual places, and an occasional hairball would be found with no explanation. The suspects in this case were indeed sneaky and acted as if absolutely nothing was wrong. They kept completely quiet and showed no emotion whatsoever. Over and over, they denied or blamed each other for everything. I was sure they were in cahoots with each other and I was out to catch them in the act. Seems that can after can of cat treats have been mysteriously missing for years. I was pretty sure I knew the answer, but until the stash had been discovered, I could not make an arrest.
Suspect number one had been seen at “the scene of the crimes” for about five years. She was big for her age and displayed an orange and white swirl of hair from head to toe. She resembled a cow, because her front legs were shorter than the back and she had a tiny stub for a tail that wiggled when she was scared. It had been wiggling a lot lately. She hated to be touched or so it seemed. She tried to blend in by hiding in the hall closet, bathroom dirty-clothes hamper, or resting under the coffee table, but I knew she was always there, lurking in the background. She was a pro if I’ve ever seen one. Her head was too big for her body and she tried to fool everyone into thinking that she slept all the time. I was on to her. It would take all my experience to nab her with the goods. Most folks called her “Tangy,” an alias for her real name, Tangerine.
Her culprit, the number two suspect, was the same age as she if you add a few days. He had been hanging around like he owned the place. He was different alright: clever, curious, aggressive, but actually a little dumb. His body was long and lean, which enabled him to get in and out of most tight spots. His tail was as long as his body and he carried a fighting weight of eleven pounds, three pounds lighter than his accomplice. He had started off white in color but as the days went by, like all good crooks, he had skillfully changed his appearance to a blend of grey, brown and black. His hair was course unlike her hair, which was as smooth as the grass on a putting green. His vision at night was incredible and you would swear that he could see into tomorrow. This suspect was brazen and would move around the house as if he were untouchable. I kept asking myself, is he intentionally seeking my attention to conceal her work, or did he think he was just too good to be caught? One thing for sure, they were quite a pair. He was called “Shadow,” which made perfect sense. He was so fast you would think he could disappear right before your eyes, as if you had just seen a shadow. It was time to put a stop to their hi-jinks and I was just the guy to do it.
So let’s go back to that morning, the morning that the suitcase cats were caught in the act. I had entered the bedroom where there were two suitcases left out from our last trip. They had not been put away, and one lay on the end of a chair and the other on the bed. The suitcases were from the same set, blue in color and made of heavy cloth. On top of these suitcases lay my suspects, as harmless as you can imagine. Tangy even placed her arms out around the suitcase as if she were hugging it. I had never thought to look inside those suitcases. One reason was that the cats look so restful lying on top of the suitcases and no one, including animals, wants to be disturbed while sleeping. Then it came to me, it seemed that Tangy was always asleep on one of those suitcases. Why had she picked that place to sleep? Was it because it was comfortable or was it just the highest spot in the room to sleep? It seems that all cats like high places and are not afraid of heights, or was there something else? Was she hiding something? Then it dawned on me that Shadow had been sleeping on the other suitcase for the past several days. It had been there right in front of me all the time. These suitcases were full of cans of cat treats. These two little furry crooks had been sneaking cans of treats from the kitchen into those suitcases. When the first suitcase was filled, the other suitcase came into play. This just reminded me of how much goes on during the day, while my wife and I are away. So the mystery of the Suitcase Cats had been solved, and my reputation was intact, Detective Purvis at your service. These two cat burglars had been caught. The treats were returned to the kitchen to be divvied up when needed and the suitcases put away. I wonder where all the cat toys are?